Sharpguyz aLwAyZ gEt AwaY wItH StuFF

ThAts TruE...

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

The power of Nyash

Ladies, how many times have y'all heard us men utter the words, “Damn, she got a fat ass a.k.a NYASH!”, and wished we were talking about y'all? The fact of the matter is some of you are definitely more well-endowed than others. When it comes to beauty, we are all not treated equally. In today’s society though, anything can be bought for the right price. A woman can get rid of her sagging gut with a simple tummy tuck, get bigger boobs, and even get a bigger booty. That’s right, many celebrities are now admitting to getting more junk added to their trunks. Countess Vaughn is among those who have recently had a little adjustment to the rear. The actress said that the surgery has given her more confidence about her appearance. Unfortunately, these stories don’t always turn out as happy or as glamorous as Countess’ did. We’ve all heard the tragic story of Ex-Miss Argentina, Solange Magnano, who died from a pulmonary embolism following cosmetic surgery on her buttocks. She was a 38 year old mother of seven month old twins who lost her life just to have a firmer, tighter behind. One has to ask, how far is too far when it comes to beauty and cosmetic procedures? Is it really worth risking your life?
In Nigeria, especially among the youth, ass is known by different pseudonyms such as BaKKA, Nyash, Bumper, Idi-nla, Defence, arsenal.....but the truth is that just because a sister black don't mean she has to have a HUGE ass does it??
Just this month, six women in Essex County, New Jersey ended up in the hospital after receiving buttock-enhancement injections by unlicensed providers. According to Steven M. Marcus, executive and medical director of the New Jersey Poison Information and Education System, the women were injected with “the same stuff you use to put caulk around the bathtub”. Are you kidding me? When is it ever okay to let someone inject your booty with bathtub caulk? Women are also having Botox injected in their rears to achieve a butt lift without the implants. Like all of the others, this procedure is also illegal and has to be performed on the down-low. Shouldn’t the fact that someone has to perform this procedure in the backroom of some shop be a stop sign? Sometimes we just have to accept that we were all made differently and move on. Everyone can’t be Buffy the Body or the countless other video chicks that the media is constantly throwing in our faces. Pretty soon, it becomes an issue of self-esteem and learning to love yourself just the way you are. To all of the men who have ever uttered the words, “Damn, she got a fat ass!” I dey feel una, but know that all that BOUNCES isn't real.....have a nice week

To The Popoola twins...

I seriously had to come out of my break to shout out to two of my favorite people...The Popoola Twins....They might behave like they don't give a rats arse about each other, but don't ever make them have to deal with you just because you messed with one of them. I remember back in high school, DamiLare purposely got into trouble because he heard that his twin brother Damilola was going to caned on the assembly hall...It was stupid, but awesome at the same time...i wished I had someone like that at that moment.... And I can remember some other times when they have had to collabo and they did it better than any other pair of twins i know. This shout-out goes out to 'em...........and how far with una sister naaw...(Na me book am

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Me? Your BFF? WTF? much abbreviations abi??)

I have been quite fortunate to have only one female best-friend ever
and I don't regret it. BUT, I have a friend who has had a lot of female best-friends and each time he gets close to them, they start developing feelings for each other. I know that guys find it more difficult not to get attracted to the other lady, but hey, who beg u make u no sabi hold ur konji?
Friendships can be complicated, like any other relationships, but how complicated can a platonic friendship be? Ladies, can you have a man be your BFF? If you are in an existing romantic relationship, then jealousy and insecurity are bound to cause arguments. Guys, does she have the right to be? Absolutely! Based on my experience, bonding and spending a lot of time together with a female friend can make you confused about how you feel about her or her about you. That love can be mistaken for “in love” love or infatuation because you get along so well, or simply be brother-sister love.
What to do:

Keep your male/female friend around, if he/she truly is your friend and respects your decision to spend less time with her once you have a guy/girlfriend. That is the one that loves you like a sista/bros and can never even imagine being intimate with you. On the other hand, ditch him/her like spoiled plantain if she/he confesses his/her love for you and you don’t feel the same.
This may potentially harm your relationship with your boy/girlfriend and the relationship between you two. Things will definitely be awkward after a confession like that,she/he may even become jealous of your boyfriend. Or the other way around if you are the one that ends up having feelings for him/her. Now, if you both have mutual feelings, then go for it. I have heard many happy endings from friends turned lovers. The fact is a friendship builds a strong and solid foundation to a successful and healthy relationship.

Be cautious when a woman/man asks, “Can I be your friend?”, chances are he/she is asking to be your lover. Look for someone that can be both your friend and lover.

Why do I even Bother??

Seriously, have you ever been in a situation where you find yourself asking the question ''Why do I even bother?" Lemme start the rant: Imagine that you are to open a domiciliary account in one of the so-called first generation banks in Nigeria(ooh yeah by the way, if u're going back home for summer, and need a new account, go straight to GTB, they are the most consistent of the bunch...personal op and proven fact...)

Anyhuu, they will ask you to get some signatories. Now imagine you are with your sister who happens to get all three in 5 minutes in the same banking hall....haba, u think?? Well that happened to me.Finally sha, I used my groundnut and thought to myself"why can't she help me out....sharpguy ness abi??
Next scenario, you are to go out on a date with this gorgeous chick, a person you have been watering your mouth all week to kiss/knack/wtever, and then your older brother sees her picture mistakenly and tells you "I used to hit that"....ouch right?
THe moral of this is to let y'all know that what ever it is you set your mind to yes you can(In the words of Mr. Obama...hehe), and take all that nonsense outta ur mouth...You bother because you actually want it...May you be as sharp as a pair of ironed secondary school "gator-ed" trousers...Have a wonderful week...Ols skool video of the week is Boys 2 men's DOING JUST FINE:

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

N 50 bux can make a difference...Shout out to Pepi...

Seriously, right now, I have about 20 pounds in my wallet. Normally I might not have complained about this, but I stupidly put a "Tenner" in the hat of a street musician. Now why am I being a grinch about this???Deviation time:
During summer, as I was driving towards Wuse Zone 5 from Wuse2, I passed the connecting bridge that leads thru wuse market...lemme post a pic for una:


Anyways, this young boy comes to the passenger door and taps the window.My friend Isaac looks at him with disdain and was about to shoo him away, when I gestured for the kid to come over to my side.The following conversation ensued:

Isaac: S-Guy, how much did you just give him?
Me: I gave him 100 bucks
Isaac: Why naah? Don't you know that when you do that, they'll only remember your face and keep expecting you to keep giving them...its a visious cycle
Me: Guy you stingy sha, shey no be you whey just blow 13geez on a bottle of perfum
Isaac: I worked hard and long for that money...

I can try to understand what My friend was telling me, but then the truth is that In most or all religions except for Satan worshipers, the act of giving is a noble act. As long as you give for the right reasons, the rewards are usually surprisingly pleasant.
For the morons who think that giving as little as 50 naira to a poor peasant kid, and you live off whatever fancy job, and drive a really nice car, I mean come-on, a ten pound note is equal to 2500 naira. Yes, I come from a wealthy family, yes I go for some summers in some nice places, but it doesn't mean I'll look down on people.
Enough of the spite...SHout out to my girl Pepi Olisa, who has been disturbing my good friend for something....COngratulations on your graduation...

Sunday, March 14, 2010

When 2 hearts beat as...Fool..You thought i would say one abi??

The first time I lost my virginity, I lost it in the most romantic way, and subsequently, I got my heart broken in the worst way by the same person !!
Yes ooh, guyz get their hearts broken and that is why that bros hasn't yet proposed to you.
Yes, You, the chick who is always bothering that guy to marry you, the one who is always asking for a commitment after going out for 2 months, introducing a guy you haven't dated for up to a year to ur parents....ehen you wan deny abi??
Time to deviate: I had this summer fling once lets call her Aysha. She had legs that once you look, you immediately start guessing what kinda panties she is wearing(real talk). Anyhow sha, my Pale(pops) used to work for her Pale and mehn, it was hate at first sight. She initially used to snub me, even when i tried to be friendly; You know naaw, you gats help ur pops. So, i went for the she don't exist routine, and lemme say that of all the times I have stupidly tried it out, that was the 1st time it ever worked on anyone.OOh, did I forget to mention that I was about 15 years old then??And she was bout 16. My bearbear(beard) had about 4 strands of hair that I guarded jealously, Heck, I once threatened to rain down theFire from Heaven on my younger brother for "allegedly'' touching them. You can't imagine this foolish girl's younger sister had the guts to pluck at them as if ehn? I vexed soo much. The next time around, Aysha herself was ready for me. The twat ignored me so much, but when I went to their private living room to ask her why, I saw her crying on the land fone(GSM never reash 9ja then). So, I decided to talk to her:
FOOLISH ME: Hey you what's wrong?AYSHA: Mind your business(as in eh, she roger me down no be small)FOOLISH ME, AGAIN: Erm, I am sure that as long as nobody died, what ever you are going through can't be that bad, unless you have terminal cancer shaAYSHA: Are you trying to be funny and cute? Didn't you hear me the first time?? Mind your business. I turned around as quickly as possible, muttered some hot yabs quietly and was about to leave when she told me to pls stay. AYSHA: Pls stay, actually the joke was kinda funny, but I wonder how guys can be so rude. Some one that I spent my valuable time on, kissed another girl and I let him back(P.S:remember that wen we were tenagers, kissing someone else is like u have knacked the entire ashewo squad at Zone 4) And the moron just told me on the phone that we are over.
She continued crying sha, and then her popsy burst in on us with me sitting close to his daughter, holding her in my scrawny arms(which had like half bicep, lol), and said:WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?? Surprisingly, Aysha told him exactly what happened and sha from there on, he ordered me to take care of his daughter.>>>>>>>>>>FAST FORWARD 1 MONTH LATER>>>>>>Myself and Aysha did a lotta stuff together, we went for parties together, went to church(Aysha na fine name even for Christian jor), I even helped her do her assignment. I wasn't surprised when I started tripping like a fowl. She also kinda started acting like a lady near me. Eventually, one boring Thursday, we played a game of truth or dare that led to the both of us being naked and sha, one thing led to another and BAM!!! Sharp-guy lost his you know what.
To be sincere, the first time was not what I expected esp. since she was the "pro". I hope I get a do-over sometime in the future....shit, my lappy battery is running low, I shall proceed to charge it(one of my stupid paddys talk say I dey blow tiaun for dis blog, shey na tru??)

How to: OpEN A nEW WeEK...

Mayne, there is nothing better than Jamming to an ol'skool jam especially to those packing their projects, and all. As for me, I am gonna introduce you to Ol skool by fire by force. In fact, every monday, as long as you can reply/comment, the first commentator should simply write the name of the ol'skool jam he/she wants, and I'll post it the following monday.
Enjoy Kieth Sweat's - Twisted...