Yet we all have ways of coping with infidelity – some see it as a nuisance they have to tolerate until it goes away, if ever. Others see it as the height of betrayal that might take them forever to forgive, but never to forget. “My wife is a very passionate woman”, Oye, a 49-year old mechanical engineer sadly noticed when discussing his wife’s infidelity.
“What kept on playing through my mind was how she could be the same passionate way with another man. I mean, why would she want another man in the first place? We had everything going for us, the kids were doing well and she had a respectable job. Why jeopardize all that by opting for an affair?” Passion’?
Oye sneered when I mentioned the word. What passion would a middle-age woman be looking for? But Gladys his wife had a different story to tell. “He seldom listened to what I said in the few years preceeding the affair,” she confessed? “Whenever I discussed anything with him, he scarcely listened.
And then he became a member of a couple of elite clubs and started club-hopping. Most nights, he would go to the club after work, then come home drunk. Whenever I complained, he was always ready for a verbal war. Accusations would fly left, right and centre. I reminded him a few times that we hadn’t made love for months. Whenever I tried, he always shrugged me off.
“When one of my do-gooder friends warned I should wean him off his girlfriend, I saw red. He was always bringing her to the club she alleged and they were often lovey-dovey in public glare. The day I dropped in casually at the club’s bar and found the two of them almost eating each other up, I felt really deflated. Oye looked defiant and the silly girl just looked at her hands as if there were some interesting messages written on them. I felt really sick. I just turned on my heel and left. Oye yelled after me, but I got into the car and asked the driver to take off.
“He had some funny stories to tell when he came home but something kind of died in me that night. I was in the office when Lani, an old friend dropped by shortly after this incident. I just wanted a male opinion, so I told him what had just happened to me.
That I knew Oye had had the odd affair, but to make this last one a sort of banquet was humiliating. He was furious at him and when he asked me to come with him for lunch, I agreed. We sent for lunch in his office with a bottle of wine he had in the fridge. We were nicely tipsy as we polished off the wine on his office sofa.
When he tried to kiss me, which he’s done often, I didn’t push him off. In fact I desperately wanted him to kiss me. This would be the perfect revenge for me. The kissing turned more passionate and he gently turned the key in the lock. Then we made love there in the sofa. It was frantic and steamy. First my husband had stopped making love to me. Then he’d cheated. Now I’d cheated on him too, Game, set and match.’
“We had sex a few times more but I still cherished my marriage and told Lani we should put an end to it. He was afterall a respectable married man. He told me anytime I needed comforting, he would always be there for me. To this day, I don’t know what madness possessed Oye to scroll through my text messages – that’s how he found out about Lani. He sent him a nasty text and looked as if he wanted to beat me up. Of course I lied through the teeth that we didn’t sleep together – just had lunch. But he didn’t believe me. Yet I would never have gotten over the humiliation of his cheating if I hadn’t evened the score…”
It wasn’t long after this couple’s story that I ran into Ranti at another friend’s party. Sherifat, the friend had always complained she had this gut feeling that her husband was sleeping with Ranti. “She’s told me of all the small contracts he help her corner in the oil company he works for”, fumed Sherifat. “She brings gifts to the house too to say thank you and domestics have snitched she sometimes comes to the house whenever I travel…”.
So what was Ranti doing at her party? Come to think of it, why are they seeming good friends all of a sudden? “Because I’m now sleeping with her husband”, Sherifat said smugly. “You know I’ve started this corporate gifts business and Ranti’s husband has been a big help in the success of my business. So, from time to time, I go to their house to say thank you just as she comes to mine to thank my husband. I’ve made love on their matrimonial bed too -just as she must have done on mine. Scores even!
“I’m sure my husband has his suspicion – afterall it is the same relationship I have with Ranti’s husband that she has with mine. Short of catching me red-handed – which would never happen, we all have to relax and play at being very good family friends!”
My Advice to all the dulling husbands out there???Don't "love" up your marriages.....if u wanna mess around before you get married, thats fine(after all, you are being a sharp guy), but don't push ur woman to the pits......
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